EXTREME SCUFFLE

BRINGING TENTACLES TO A FISTFIGHT IS A SURE WAY TO WHOOP SOME ASS!!! YOU'RE OUTNUMBERED!!! OUTMUSCLED!!! OUT-FILL-IN-THE-FLOCKING BLANK!!!! YOUR FISTS MEAN NOTHING HERE, HUMAN!!! NOTHING!!! YOU'RE AS FRAGILE AS A CORAL REEF!!! BRING YOUR BEST FIGHTER AND WATCH THEM GET DROP-KICKED WITH EASE!!! WOOOOOOO!!!!! LOOK MA, NO HANDS!!!!

LOOK GOOD, BIKE GOODR.

1 NO SLIP

WE USE A SPECIAL GRIP COATING AND TEMPLE GRIPS TO CONSTRUCT OUR FRAME TO HELP ELIMINATE SLIPPAGE WHEN YOUR LAVA-INDUCED SWEAT POPS WHILE VOLCANO SURFING.

2 NO BOUNCE

OUR FRAME IS FITTED AND LIGHTWEIGHT, WITH A REMOVABLE NOSE-PIECE AND TWO SIZING OPTIONS TO PREVENT BOUNCING WHEN YOU LAND ON YOUR MOTORCYCLE SEAT AFTER DIVING OUT OF A HELICOPTER.

3 ANTI-FOG

EXTREMELY EFFECTIVE ANTI-FOG COATING PREVENTS THE INSIDE OF THIS EXTREME WRAPAROUND LENS FROM FOGGING EVEN WITH THE EXTREMEST SWEAT.

4 ALL POLARIZED

GLARE-REDUCING, POLARIZED LENSES AND UV400 PROTECTION THAT BLOCKS THOSE HARMFUL UVA AND UVB RAYS.

5 ALL EXTREME

YOU MIGHT BE AN EXTREME ATHLETE, YOU MIGHT BE A PRETTY AVERAGE ATHLETE WHO IS EXTREMELY DELUSIONAL. BOTH EXTREMELY EXTREME EXTREMISTS YEAHHHHHAHARGHHHHHWOOOOOHOOOOOOO

INTRODUCING LOOK MA, NO HANDS

AN EXTREME POEM TO AN EXTREME MOTHER.